Happy Birthday from MsKathy

Dearest Noodle,

It occurred to me the other day that some people might think of your nickname as slightly insulting – ie, “wet noodle” (Let's not go to the dirty connotations just yet, I've only begun.). However, it prompted me to think about why exactly I picked that name. Thus began The Great Gmail Search of 2011 (tm). When I searched in my email for “noodle,” I got … a lot of emails that matched (us? Chatty?). Diligently, I kept going, searching for the very earliest reference to this nickname. There are hilarious subject lines (“Piece of Shit Drabble”, “Just Need to Squee”, etc.) and meaningful subject lines (“You Made Me Cried”, “Body Image”, etc.), and of course, recipes.

June of 2009 was when we agreed you would be Noodle, if my records are correct (and you know how I love to keep accurate records). In one of your first PMs to me, you said so many wonderful things, I blush re-reading it, but also, we connected as friends. We talked about Utah, Under the Banner of Heaven, TTH, PM, girl/girl action, and a sex lab... all topics that would come to be standard for us.

Your open-mindedness and honesty was what drew me to you in the first place, and it continues to impresses me every day. I know I can talk to you about anything – anything – and you will listen, not judge (except maybe ATM or ATV), and offer your thoughts.

Your friendship and loyalty and love and smiles are side-bonuses to your heart, which you give freely, but cautiously (like someone else I know).

You are supportive, kind, and uplifting – something everyone needs in their life. Reminiscing through all of these PMs and emails was just a lovely reminder of the evolution of our friendship over the years. It felt like having the conversations with you all over again, something I apparently needed, but didn't know. Like Kleenex.

I'll never forget how nervous you were when we planned to meet. I was nervous, too, but I think I said it less and hid that more. I won't ever forget how you told me that my quiet nature surprised you. It's true, I can be thoughtful and quiet in the right circumstances. I also won't forget just how our friendship clicks in “real life” as well as online. You are someone I can imagine living in the same city as, and having a cup of coffee with regularly. I wish. Reality prevents that from happening, but all of that is really to say, you're a fixture in my life. I can't imagine a day going by without at least a hello from you, or to you, and/or a dirty joke shared, giggles about life's trials, or, if I'm being honest, tears between friends.

I've always been able to count on you, even when I can give nothing to you and I can only take what you generously offer, and that is priceless to me. You have listened to me sob my heart out, gasping, hiccuping breath the only thing on the other line, and you did so willingly. And, I knew how much you wanted to be there and hug me, and that is why I love you. You are the kind of friend that won't disappear in times of trouble. Even when life is crazy and busy for both of us, we find 5 seconds to connect and then move on with our days. We wish only the best for each other, and we root for our successes, even if those choices aren't the ones we personally would make in our own lives.

In short, we are the best of friends. You are a soulmate, and someone who just knows and gets me, and there simply aren't enough of the right words to ever tell you what that means to me... but I know you get it.

You know the deepest (and darkest) truths of my heart, and you are never afraid to call me on my bullshit, and vice versa. I feel honored to be a part of your life, and thankful that you are a part of mine. I am proud to be part of the Heathen Slut Club, and there is no one I'd rather sit in companionable silence with.

So, when people wonder if Noodle is an insult, I hope they think of you like I do – nourishing, warm and comforting, essential.

I hope you know the depth of my love for you, and just how valued and cherished you are. You are irreplaceable.

I wanted to close with some of my favorite pictures that remind me of you. Enjoy, bb.